I will not sacrifice my peace and happiness and give in to temptation to prove that someone is wrong or doing wrong.  I will not fight this battle as my ego will not let me win this battle with people whose egos are stronger than mine, but on very rare occasions my alter ego has had to come out.  But majority of the time as much as it hurts, I sit back and wait.  I will not change who I am, be it that the person is doing it on purpose or not.  You may hate on me, but I will not hate on you, but I will TELL the truth.  
 
I am a person of my word.  I'm not trying to be perfect, it is who I am.  Who knows me, should know me.  There is no such thing as perfection, but doing the right thing is as about close to it as you can be.  Being kind to people, turning the other cheek when you get slapped and walking away from a fight is who I am.  I’m not saying don't defend yourself, but there are times just about the best thing to do is walk away.  I've chosen many times to just simply pull away...either from situations or people.  I'd rather the air leave the tire slowly, then for that tire to just instantaneously pop.  I can get further with a tire leaking air, than I can get with a completely popped tire. 
 
On rare occasions though, the volcano has exploded.  So I guess like Cabo Verde, I do decide to let out some steam, and if you have ever felt my wrath on these rare occasions, it would be nice to instead of wonder why did I just explode on someone, but to ask yourself what just happened to cause that explosion. Take a look at yourself and ask yourself, what may have caused this detonation.  I take, take, take...and people seem to think that when I give back what they only sown, that I am in the wrong, and in that very moment, I may just be in the wrong, but then sit back and think about all that person has been taking in. 
 
In the end, I will still be there to help you, despite all that you have done, and I may not end up helping you directly, but many times, I will continue to help you, but indirectly.  Many people, seem to hear one side of a story, and build up a perspective of you based on what they see or hear.  They don't get to hear the other side.  Many read a headline without reading the actual story, and start passing around false news.  I've worked effortlessly at times being who I am.  I am not here to prove anything to anyone.  My biggest critic is my own self.  To the person trying to prove a point, keep hustling.  I just want to be me at the end of the day.  I don't need to brag, I'll let my work speak for itself. 
 
For years, I've been content with being in the background, knowing that I can sleep at night.  I don't need to shine for no one, except for myself to get out of the darkest of places.  Many times you are placed in a race that you knew nothing about.  To the person who thinks they’re in a race, and keeps looking back, thinking to yourself “I'm winning”, but as you keep running and losing sight of me, asking yourself has she stopped, has she turned, or has she slowed down, either way, my reply to you is “I wasn't in the race to begin with”. 
 
You don't know the struggle of that success. You don't know the story behind that gift, you don't know the late nights behind that praise.  You don't know the nightmare behind that dream.  You don't know the shadow, behind that light.  You don't know the tears behind that reward.  Cruel intentions may get you what you want, for only so long.  But a rotten apple doesn't last long.  A dent in a baking pan will always leave a dent in your cake, no matter how well you cover it with frosting.  Your lack of character will always reveal itself in the end, as for me, I’ll remain who I am, happy not to be perfect, and Strong! 

As time passes, we may not see each other often, but our friendship has remained after so many years.  We didn't know that senior year in high school, that we would be heading to "UZoo" as they called it.  Our parents were scared shitless, because of course they are Cape Verdean parents and they never want to let go of their "babies". 

I remember my father being so happy when he found out that Eduarda, my friend since kindergarten was going to be joining me at UMass Amherst.  We had been separated only by four years as she went to Southeastern and I went to Brockton High.  Their joy was escalated and their fear a little more at ease, when they found out that Rute, was going too, because they didn't know Rute, but they sure knew her parents.  We all end up having a connection one way or another.  Deise was with me throughout high school and we met Jackie during our later years in high school. 

The interesting thing is, none of us sat down to discuss our decisions about college life.  I remember, I chose UMass Amherst, not realizing where it was, just knowing it was a good transition to Medical School compared to the expensive Boston University.  I didn't realize it was a big school out in western Massachusetts, basically out in the country side, lol.  I didn't speak to anyone about my college decisions.  My guidance counselor was of no help, and I didn't speak to my parents about it, as their knowledge about higher education was limited.  You should have seen my father as we drove out to UMass freshman year from Brockton.  He was proud that I was off to college, but wondering where in the world this school was and why in the world I had chosen a school so far away (it was only two hours, but to them, it probably felt as though I was off to Cape Verde). 

During orientation, Deise had met Gena, and thus that first semester Freshman year, was the beginning of a journey that has lasted until now.  We are still friends today and despite some of us not seeing each other in years, when we come together it's as if time has not passed.  There's one picture that I'm looking for that would sum all of this up, but until I find it, enjoy this one.

My songs for this week are 
Juka - Mamary 
Djedje - Ka Bu Kunfia
Oliver N'Goma - Bane i picked this one, because last week I had already added Oliver N'Goma - Nge which was one of Eduarda's favorites in college.  
Suzanna - Fofo (Rute's memorable song)
Suzanna - Woman in Love (A song we heard over and over and over again in JQA Room 1118)

To all the memories.

April Showers Bring May Flowers

Continue to look at the positive side of things.  Today it is raining and it seems like a dreary day, but this rain is needed to bring about growth and beauty in the next coming months.  It is with that, that we must acknowledge that we will have some bad days, but just like rain, it will pass.  You must be strong and keep pushing forward to your goals.  Do your best to look at the positive.  Have a great day!

So, it snowed this past weekend, but it looks like good weather at least for the next week.  Thus, it's time to go outside and get my hands dirty with some plants.  I prepped for this year, back in October by planting some bulbs in containers and in the garden beds.  For a while now, I've been seeing signs of growth.  I was worried that with the last snowfall, it would hinder the progress, but I think things are ok.  Hopefully this week I can get to laying down some seeds that I bought at the beginning of the year, working on clearing out the debris in the garden beds, and working on my gardening prep area.  

My throwback Thursday are songs that bring me back to UMass Amherst and some to Freshman year.  

Oliver N'Goma - NGE
Eric Brouta - Randezouk
Thierry Cham - Memoire de Femme
Ludo - Sensuelle 
Harry Diboula - Tu Me Manques

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Recently, I had the opportunity to help my cousin out with some re-organizing.  Things had been organized before, but through time, things just added up and there were many items in the wrong place.  She does event planning, so through time, certain areas of her house, especially the kitchen, had become "dumping" grounds for out of place items.  She needed someone to come in with a fresh set of eyes and help get things back into shape.

That's where I and my cousin Silvie came in.  We balanced each other out.  She loves to organize, but is extra good at letting things go.  I on the other hand have a harder time with letting things go, in terms of I think it can be used later.  But we reasoned and compromised, and we were able to get rid of unnecessary items and give a home to the items that belonged in the areas we tackled, and made things happen.   

One area that we tackled was the bathroom closet and the cabinet under the sink.  First we sorted everything that was in the closet into like groups.  For example, hair products.  Then we went through each group and got rid of things that were not being used, like half bottles of shampoo or expired products.  Then we cleared out the closet, and cleaned it out.  

The next step was to figure out our containers and set up.  It's nice to put things in containers, because it helps with doing it's job of keeping things contained.  Since the bins we were using in the closet were see through, we didn't have to label.  We did put labels for the items under the cabinet sink.  
Many times it's not that you are not able to take on the job of organizing, but there are times, we hold on to things because of sentimental reasons or we think we may need an item down the line and just simply have a hard time of letting go of things, or we just need another perspective or fresh set of eyes.  And many times, two minds are better than one.

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Last week was the start of spring, but with the weather outside, it sure isn't helping to start working on the garden.  So until then, below are pictures of my garden bed and my prep area for the plants.  Last year, I purchased an inexpensive greenhouse, and it sure has been a good investment.  I will be updating this prep area and the garden bed, as soon as the weather allows me.  I will start first though by planting some seeds in pots and placing them in the greenhouse and then transferring them to the ground later.  Hopefully I can start soon.  Til then, make the best of this dreary day.  

Five years ago today, you left us.  You don't go away, but "you walk beside us every day...unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved, still missed and very dear."  As I keep working every day, little by little, towards my goals and dreams, I'm reminded of your gentle heart, your soft yet strong presence, your tenacity to get things done, your strong work ethic, and your ability to do so many things, in so many different areas.  I see you in me, when I am in my creative mood.  I see you in me, with my organizing ways.  I see you, in my love for music.  You were and still are an inspiration to me.  You are missed daily.  I know you had to go, but I know I will one day see you again.  Miss you Papa Henrique.   

Here's to the man always with his stylish hat, his ever so important briefcase, and his musical twin, the guitar, but most importantly the man with a big heart and greatest father figure.  To all the birthdays and gatherings we enjoyed with you on this Eventful Friday, we celebrate you, even though you left us on this day.  The Alves family took a big part in making all these beautiful events happen for a well deserving man, who embraced us with so many years of love.  Papa de nos Tudo.  ​Have a good weekend everyone.

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